Son finds out his dad is cheating on his mom – should he ruin the family by telling her

Of all the things someone can do whilst in a relationship, cheating is perhaps one of the most hurtful of them. Infidelity is not something you just laugh away, because it can be extremely painful for the victims of cheating partners.

And maybe that’s why this story has hit so many people so deeply…

After 27 years of marriage, a son has stumbled upon the unsettling truth that his father has been unfaithful to his mother.

He found himself caught in a difficult predicament, torn on whether he should disclose this revelation to his parents, scared of the potential consequence of fracturing their family’s bond. Seeking guidance, he turned to the social media platform Reddit, hoping for some insights on how to navigate the challenge of liberating himself from the weight of this closely guarded secret.

Having observed his parents’ enduring 27-year marriage, the son’s lifetime has been marked by his father’s consistent care for his mother and his unwavering dedication as a supportive and nurturing father to both him and his sibling.

However, on a fateful day, his world took an unexpected turn when he stumbled upon a conversation between his father and a woman on Facebook. The contents of the conversation revealed an ongoing affair between his dad and this unknown woman. This revelation cast his father in a new, shocking light.


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But after the revelation, the son went away to college. He just ”kept that memory repressed hoping it’ll go away”. Perhaps he was mistaken or misunderstood the situation. Unfortunately, that was not the case.

”Finished my undergrad and went on to grad school. I came back home last week after almost a year and I’m still seeing him being super secretive with his phone,” the son wrote.

Evidently, his father’s behavior continued to raise suspicions.

One time, the son asked to borrow his father’s phone. But then he observed his dad discreetly switch off his data to prevent any notifications from showing up.

As a 24-year-old who had grown up with cell phones, he understood the implication behind this action – his father was concealing something.

The son was now caught between conflicting emotions; he faced an agonizing dilemma. As mentioned, he held a deep admiration for his father, acknowledging the invaluable contributions he had made to his life. He also knew how self-reliant his mother was, but he knew this would destroy her.

According to the son, disclosing his father’s affair could have devastating consequences. He understood that revealing this truth would shatter his mom’s world and, inevitably, lead to the dissolution of their marriage. The weight of potentially shouldering responsibility for such an outcome was something the 24-year-old desperately wished to avoid.

This experience also served as a profound lesson. ”You can be an amazing dad and a shitty husband at the same time,” the son wrote.

But regardless of the perspective from which he examined the situation, it was inevitably leading to a huge crisis in the family. Since the son had a very strong bond with his father, directly approaching his mother with the information prior to discussing it with his dad felt like an act of disloyalty.

He knew that this whole situation would also affect others besides himself and those who were directly involved would be hurt the worst. His younger brother, recently accepted into medical school, had no idea about the affair either. The revelation would not only impact him but also cast a profound shadow over his brother’s life.


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Seeking solace in his circle of friends didn’t align with the son’s wishes either; he feared what they might think about him and his father. According to the son, all of his friends loved the dad and respected him.

Trapped in a whirlwind of emotions, he didn’t know what to do – but he also knew he had to figure out a way out of this dilemma.

”At the end of the day, I know it’s on me to make the choice I think would possibly be the right one,” he said.

If we examine how the Reddit user reacted to this unusual question, we can discern a few patterns. Foremost, commenters were eager to assure the son that regardless of the eventual outcome within his family, shouldn’t shoulder the blame. The responsibility lay squarely on his father, who had engaged in an affair.

Some of the users told him to share the information with his mother, which would probably release the emotional weight of his father’s deception.

Conversely, another person posited that if evidence of the affair existed, the mother might already be aware.


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Meanwhile, the Reddit community emphasized the significance of engaging in a mature conversation with his father, acknowledging that imperfections exist within every relationship. On the other hand, some users perceived his prioritization of his father over his mother as a cause for concern.

Regardless of the differing perspectives, the users were united in their encouragement for the son to finally break his silence about the secret he has guarded for six years.

The ultimate course of action taken by the son remains undisclosed. Nevertheless, he expressed profound gratitude for the assistance and concern his post garnered.

Hopefully, all the feedback he received will aid him in making the ”right” decision and offer him a sense of solace during a challenging period.

What would you have done in this situation? Or have you ever experienced a similar dilemma? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section on Facebook!


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