Levi Straus Takes a Stand, Pulls All Merchandise From Target

Levi Straus is one of the first companies to openly take a stand against “Pride.” In a move called “brave” by Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy, Levi’s pulled all of its merchandise from Target.

Levi’s CEO Joe Barron said the decision wasn’t hard after seeing what happened to Bud Light. “We don’t want to go down with that ship,” he said, “It’s just not worth the boycotts.”

To date, conservative boycotts have now cost companies more in market cap than the Great Recession. “It’s remarkable to watch,” said Barron, “it’s also negligent to push that on our shareholders.”

Barron says the company can easily make up for the lost revenue. “Target is tanking,” he said, “so it really makes no sense whether you support pride or not. Just get out now before your stuff ends up in a central warehouse being sold off to Dollar Tree.”

Levi’s also released a new ad that specifically leaves out rainbows, as they seem to be what causes the boycotts to begin. In South Lake Tahoe, a girl on her way to a casting audition accidentally dropped a rainbow-colored hair clippy at the local Starbucks and three weeks later the shop is closed and 11 people are out of work.

We caught up with the girl to ask why. “Guk guk guk guk guk” she said, so we decided to wait until the audition was over, at which time she replied, “I did what now?”

Completely oblivious to the damage she caused. Liberalism is a disease, patriots. God bless America.

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