The two ladies were sitting in the living room, waiting for their hostess, who was slightly delayed.
\nThe daughter of the family was with them, on the theory that she would keep the visitors occupied during the wait.<\/p>\n
The child was about six years old, snub nosed, freckled, buck-toothed and bespectacled. She maintained a deep silence and the two ladies peered doubtfully at her.<\/p>\n
Finally, one of them muttered to the other, \u201cNot very p-r-e-t-t-y, I fear,\u201d carefully spelling the key word.<\/p>\n
Whereupon the child piped up, \u201cBut awfully s-m-a-r-t!\u201d<\/p>\n
================================================
\nA customer at Green\u2019s Gourmet Grocery marvels at the proprietor\u2019s quick wit and intelligence.
\n\u201cTell me, Green, what makes you so smart?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI wouldn\u2019t share my secret with just anyone,\u201d Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won\u2019t hear. \u201cBut since you\u2019re a good and faithful customer, I\u2019ll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you\u2019ll be positively brilliant.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou sell them here?\u201d the customer asks.<\/p>\n
\u201cOnly $4 each,\u201d says Green.<\/p>\n
The customer buys three. A week later, he\u2019s back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn\u2019t any smarter.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t eat enough,\u201d says Green.<\/p>\n
The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he\u2019s back and this time he\u2019s really angry.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, Green,\u201d he says, \u201cYou\u2019re selling me fish heads for $4 apiece when I can buy the whole fish for $2. You\u2019re ripping me off!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou see?\u201d says Green. \u201cYou\u2019re smarter already.\u201d<\/p>\n
================================================
\nEleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman.
\nThe rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to drop off, otherwise they were all going to fall.<\/p>\n
They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a very touching speech.<\/p>\n
She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as a woman she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, without ever getting anything in return.<\/p>\n
As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The two ladies were sitting in the living room, waiting for their hostess, who was slightly delayed. The daughter of the family was with them, on the theory that she would keep the visitors occupied during the wait. The child was about six years old, snub nosed, freckled, buck-toothed and bespectacled. She maintained a deep […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-37897","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37897","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=37897"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37897\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":37898,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37897\/revisions\/37898"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=37897"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=37897"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=37897"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}