A soldier was stationed abroad and received a \u201cDear John\u201d letter from his girlfriend back home. It read: \u201cDear Dave, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great.<\/p>\n
I must admit that I have cheated twice, since you\u2019ve been gone, and it\u2019s not fair to either of us. I\u2019m sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent you.<\/p>\n
Love, Kim.\u201d<\/p>\n
The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins, etc. In addition to the picture of Kim, Dave included all the other pictures of pretty girls he had collected from his buddies. There were 43 photos in the envelope along with a note that read: \u201cDear Kim, I\u2019m so sorry but I can\u2019t remember who you are.<\/p>\n
Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me. Take care, Dave.\u201d<\/p>\n
==============================================
\nThree Soldiers had just gotten out of the Army and decided to celebrate by taking a helicopter ride. One of the soldiers is eating a banana and says, \u201cI wonder if we\u2019d be able to see it land, if I threw the peel out?\u201d Out goes the peel and they all watch it but don\u2019t see it land.<\/p>\n
One of the others has a rock and says \u201cThis is bigger, we should be able to see it land.\u201d They all watch, but don\u2019t see it land. The last one takes a grenade out of his pocket, pulls the pin and tosses it out of the door. \u201cWe\u2019ll see that when it hits.\u201d They watch, but still nothing.<\/p>\n
Walking home they see a little girl crying and they ask, what\u2019s wrong? \u201cWell I was walking and slipped on a banana peel that came from nowhere.\u201d<\/p>\n
The soldiers explain what happened and are helping the girl home when they see a little boy sitting on the side of the road holding his head. They ask what happened?<\/p>\n
\u201cI was walking when a rock hit me on the head.\u201d<\/p>\n
They tell the story again and start to wonder what happened to the grenade. One of them races ahead and sees an old lady laughing hysterically. He asks what\u2019s so funny?<\/p>\n
The old lady says, \u201cI just farted and my house blew up!!\u201d<\/p>\n
==============================================
\nA HUGE GAFFE
\nIt\u2019s wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences. Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.<\/p>\n
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly woman, whose husband had passed away only the day before.<\/p>\n
When the grieving widow checked here e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a d e a d faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
\nDearest wife,<\/p>\n
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.<\/p>\n
PS: Sure is hot down here.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A soldier was stationed abroad and received a \u201cDear John\u201d letter from his girlfriend back home. It read: \u201cDear Dave, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated twice, since you\u2019ve been gone, and it\u2019s not fair to either of us. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-37570","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37570","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=37570"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37570\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":37571,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37570\/revisions\/37571"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=37570"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=37570"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=37570"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}