A very drunk man
\nturns up at his house at 6 o\u2019clock in the morning with his hair and clothes dishevelled. His long suffering wife, who has been waiting up all night, shouts at him furiously, \u201cI hope you have a good reason for getting home blind drunk at this time of the morning!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d replied the man, \u201cI\u2019d like some breakfast!\u201d<\/p>\n
Fishing Drunk.
\nA drunk ice fisherman drills a hole in the ice and peers into it.<\/p>\n
As he does so, a loud voice from above says, \u201cThere are no fish down there.\u201d<\/p>\n
So the drunk fisherman walks several yards away and drills another hole.<\/p>\n
As he peers into it he again hears a voice say, \u201cThere\u2019s no fish down there.\u201d<\/p>\n
So he walks about 20 yards away and drills another hole. Once again the voice says, \u201cThere\u2019s no fish down there.\u201d<\/p>\n
The fisherman looks up to the sky and asks, \u201cGod, is that you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, you idiot,\u201d says the voice. \u201cIt\u2019s the rink manager.\u201d<\/p>\n
Wisdom of the Ages.
\nA 72 year old man had one hobby \u2013 he loved to fish.<\/p>\n
He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, \u2018Pick me up.\u2019 he looked around and couldn\u2019t see anyone.<\/p>\n
He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, \u2018Pick me up.\u2019<\/p>\n
He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog. The man said, \u2018Are you talking to me?\u2019<\/p>\n
The frog said, \u2018Yes, I\u2019m talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me; and I\u2019ll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I\u2019ll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous, because I will be your bride!\u2019<\/p>\n
The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully and placed it in his shirt pocket.<\/p>\n
The frog said, \u2018What, are you nuts? Didn\u2019t you hear what I said?\u2019 I said, \u2018Kiss me, and I will be your beautiful bride.\u2019<\/p>\n
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,<\/p>\n
\u2018Nah. At my age, I\u2019d rather have a talking frog.\u2019<\/p>\n
With age \u2013 comes wisdom!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A very drunk man turns up at his house at 6 o\u2019clock in the morning with his hair and clothes dishevelled. His long suffering wife, who has been waiting up all night, shouts at him furiously, \u201cI hope you have a good reason for getting home blind drunk at this time of the morning!\u201d \u201cYes,\u201d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-37419","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37419","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=37419"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37419\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":37420,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37419\/revisions\/37420"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=37419"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=37419"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=37419"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}