A blonde went to work with puffy eyes<\/p>\n
Her boss, concerned about his employee\u2019s well-being, asks sympathetically, \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter?\u201d<\/p>\n
The blonde replies, \u201cEarly this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m terribly sorry to hear that. Why don\u2019t you go home for the day\u2026 we aren\u2019t busy, just take the day off to relax and rest.\u201d<\/p>\n
The blonde very calmly explains, \u201cNo, I\u2019d be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.\u201d<\/p>\n
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. \u201cIf you need anything, just let me know,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, \u201cAre you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u2026<\/p>\n
..<\/p>\n
.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d replies the blonde, \u201cI just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!\u201d<\/p>\n
====================================<\/p>\n
A middle-aged woman has a heart a.ttack and is taken to the hospital.<\/p>\n
While on the operating table, she has a near-d.eath experience. During that experience, she sees God and asks if this is it. God says NO and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live.<\/p>\n
Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck \u2013 you name it, she had it. She even has someone come in and change her hair color. She figures since she\u2019s got another 30 or 40 years she might as well make the most of it.<\/p>\n
She walks out of the hospital after the last operation when she is k. lled by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital.<\/p>\n
She arrives in front of God and asks, \u201cI thought you said I had another 30-40 years?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, \u201d Said God. \u201cI didn\u2019t recognize you.\u201d<\/p>\n
===================================<\/p>\n
A man is trying to understand the nature of God, time, and the Universe. He asks God,<\/p>\n
\u201cHow long is a billion years to you?\u201d<\/p>\n
God says, \u201cA billion years is like a second to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
The man asks, \u201cWell, how much is a billion dollars to you?\u201d<\/p>\n
God says, \u201cA billion dollars is like a penny to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
So the man says, \u201cGod, can I have a penny?\u201d<\/p>\n
And God replies, \u201cIn a sec.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A blonde went to work with puffy eyes Her boss, concerned about his employee\u2019s well-being, asks sympathetically, \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter?\u201d The blonde replies, \u201cEarly this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m terribly sorry to hear that. Why don\u2019t you go home for the day\u2026 we aren\u2019t busy, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-37395","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37395","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=37395"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37395\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":37396,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37395\/revisions\/37396"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=37395"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=37395"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=37395"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}