You ever hear someone say, \u201cI\u2019ve got the perfect guy for you\u201d? Yeah, well, that\u2019s exactly how this disaster began.<\/p>\n
My brother Marcus wouldn\u2019t stop talking about this guy Andy from his Saturday morning pickleball group. Every time I saw him, he was like a broken record.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut he\u2019s not just any guy,\u201d Marcus said, smirking as he refilled his protein shake right at my kitchen counter. \u201cHe\u2019s polite. Smart. Has a good job. Still single, though, which makes no sense.\u201d<\/p>\n
I rolled my eyes so hard I swear they almost fell out.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s what you said about Kevin last year. You know, the vintage spoon collector?\u201d I teased.<\/p>\n
Marcus gave me a look like, \u201cHe\u2019s different, I swear.\u201d There was this mix of teasing and real hope in his voice that made me pause mid-chop as I was hacking away at some poor carrots. Honestly, I was just taking out my dating frustrations on vegetables like any sane person would.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s the truth about brothers: they never give up. I\u2019d been done with \u201cnice guys\u201d who came with hidden expiration dates, but Marcus\u2019s hopeful tone wore me down. Maybe it was because I was tired of being the single woman at every family dinner, or maybe it was the way he looked at me like he actually believed this time would be different.<\/p>\n
\u201cFine,\u201d I said, throwing down my knife. \u201cOne date. Just one. To prove I\u2019m open to this whole thing.\u201d<\/p>\n
Famous last words.<\/p>\n
So, the next Saturday evening, I stood in front of my bedroom mirror adjusting my dress for the fifth time. Why do we do this? Why try so hard to look perfect for someone who might end up being a belly-button lint collector or worse?<\/p>\n
Right at seven, my doorbell rang. I took a deep breath, grabbed my purse, and opened the door.<\/p>\n
There he was \u2014 Andy. Tall, adorable, in a freshly pressed button-down shirt, holding a small bouquet of wildflowers wrapped in brown paper.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t know your favorites,\u201d he said, holding out the flowers. \u201cBut I thought these looked pretty.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey\u2019re perfect,\u201d I smiled, feeling my guard drop just a little.<\/p>\n
You know what made him stand out? He waited patiently while I found a glass, filled it with water, and arranged the flowers on my dining table. No checking his phone, no tapping feet, no sighing. Just calm, respectful patience.<\/p>\n
\u201cReady?\u201d he asked, and then\u2014he actually opened the car door for me.<\/p>\n
I know, I know, sounds old-fashioned. But when\u2019s the last time anyone did that for you? I was genuinely surprised and, honestly, a little touched.<\/p>\n
Dinner was better than I expected. Andy held doors, pulled out my chair, and asked about my job like he really cared.<\/p>\n
When I told him I\u2019m a graphic designer, he said, \u201cI always admire people who do what they love. Not everyone has the guts.\u201d<\/p>\n
And when I complimented the food, he laughed and said, \u201cRight? But I think the waiter deserves the real five stars.\u201d<\/p>\n
I felt myself soften, and that scared me. You know how it is when you start to hope maybe this time, maybe this guy won\u2019t have some awful secret lurking?<\/p>\n
Spoiler: They always do.<\/p>\n
When the check came, I reached for my phone to call an Uber. I have a rule: no rides home on first dates. It\u2019s safer and keeps things clear.<\/p>\n
Andy looked genuinely shocked. \u201cNo way,\u201d he laughed gently. \u201cA gentleman drives his date home and waits until she\u2019s safely inside.\u201d<\/p>\n
I should have stuck to my rule. I really should have.<\/p>\n
But that smile\u2014the one that made me forget all my careful rules\u2014won.<\/p>\n
So I caved.<\/p>\n
He opened the car door again, drove me all the way home without once checking his phone, and even stayed parked until I got to my door.<\/p>\n
I waved from my window, and he waved back before driving off.<\/p>\n
That night, I went to bed feeling something I hadn\u2019t felt in months: safe. Maybe even lucky. Could you believe it? I thought, maybe, just maybe, I\u2019d found one of the good ones.<\/p>\n
Then the next morning, at exactly 7:13 a.m., my phone buzzed with a notification.<\/p>\n
A PayPal request.<\/p>\n
I blinked hard, convinced I was dreaming.<\/p>\n
At first, I thought spam. But when I saw it was from Andy, my brain just froze.<\/p>\n
He\u2019d sent me a bill.<\/p>\n
Gas from restaurant to my place: $4.75<\/p>\n
Car depreciation: $3.50<\/p>\n
Parking: $20<\/p>\n
Cleaning fee for \u201cpuddle splash marks\u201d: $9<\/p>\n
Total: $37.25<\/p>\n
I stared at my phone for a full 30 seconds, trying to process this insanity.<\/p>\n
Then I laughed so hard I almost dropped my coffee mug.<\/p>\n
This guy, who seemed perfect just 12 hours before, had actually itemized basic human decency and sent me an invoice.<\/p>\n
Can you even imagine?<\/p>\n
What goes through someone\u2019s mind thinking, \u201cYou know what would top off this lovely evening? An invoice.\u201d<\/p>\n
I sent him $50 with a note: \u201cThirteen-dollar tip for opening my door. Cheers.\u201d<\/p>\n
Then I blocked his number\u2014without hesitation.<\/p>\n
But I wasn\u2019t done.<\/p>\n
No, I was just getting started.<\/p>\n
I immediately texted my brother: \u201cTruly a mystery why he\u2019s still single,\u201d and sent him screenshots of the bill and my response.<\/p>\n
I spent the rest of the morning on my couch, bursting into fresh waves of laughter every time I looked at my phone. It was like my brain couldn\u2019t accept this really happened.<\/p>\n
Around noon, Marcus called. I could hear the shock and amusement in his voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cSarah, I\u2019m so sorry. I had no idea he was like this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow could you? I bet he saves his charm for the ladies.\u201d<\/p>\n
Marcus chuckled, then said, \u201cActually, there\u2019s more. He was at pickleball this morning, bragging to the guys about your date. Said it was \u2018like something out of a rom-com.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
I snorted. \u201cOh, it was movie-worthy alright. Just not the kind he thought.\u201d<\/p>\n
Marcus laughed too. \u201cYeah, well, when I showed the guys your screenshot, the room went dead silent. Then Andy muttered something I\u2019ll never forget: \u2018Chivalry doesn\u2019t pay for itself.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe did not.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe absolutely did. Then he tried to defend himself, saying modern women should appreciate transparency in dating expenses.\u201d<\/p>\n
I was laughing so hard I nearly cried. \u201cPlease tell me you\u2019re joking.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI wish I was. Needless to say, he won\u2019t be joining us for pickleball anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n
The guys had voted him out. Unanimously. Honestly, that felt pretty great.<\/p>\n
But wait, the story doesn\u2019t end there.<\/p>\n
Last weekend, I was doing my usual Saturday morning routine\u2014lounging on the couch, coffee in hand, scrolling TikTok like a pro\u2014when I choked on my coffee.<\/p>\n
There, on my screen, was a video of a girl sharing screenshots of what she called an \u201citemized date invoice\u201d from a guy named Andy.<\/p>\n
The prices were slightly different, but the outrageous sense of entitlement was exactly the same: gas, car depreciation, parking, cleaning fees\u2014the whole ridiculous list.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis guy thinks he\u2019s Uber with dinner service,\u201d she joked in the video.<\/p>\n
I couldn\u2019t believe it. Andy had done this before. This wasn\u2019t a one-time weird moment\u2014it was his whole dating strategy.<\/p>\n
The comments were savage, and I lived for every single one:<\/p>\n
\u201cLadies, beware of Andy\u2019s Taxi & Misogyny Service.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAt least Uber gives you mints.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThis man really said, \u2018Pay me back for being a gentleman.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
I sent the video to Marcus with a message: \u201cYour pickleball friend is TikTok famous.\u201d<\/p>\n
His reply was instant: \u201cI\u2019m never trusting my judgment about men ever again.\u201d<\/p>\n
I spent the afternoon laughing and sharing the video with friends. It turned into a group chat filled with dating horror stories, and honestly? It was therapeutic.<\/p>\n
At least my guy waited until after the date to reveal his true colors.<\/p>\n
The weirdest part?<\/p>\n
I\u2019m actually grateful for Andy.<\/p>\n
He gave me the best story I\u2019ve had in years\u2014and a great lesson: sometimes the worst dates make the best stories.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m still dating, still rolling my eyes at my brother\u2019s suggestions, and still single.<\/p>\n
But now, I always take my own ride home.<\/p>\n
And I do it with a smile, knowing any man worth keeping around won\u2019t send me a bill for just being decent.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
You ever hear someone say, \u201cI\u2019ve got the perfect guy for you\u201d? Yeah, well, that\u2019s exactly how this disaster began. My brother Marcus wouldn\u2019t stop talking about this guy Andy from his Saturday morning pickleball group. Every time I saw him, he was like a broken record. \u201cBut he\u2019s not just any guy,\u201d Marcus said, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36983","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36983","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=36983"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36983\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":36984,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36983\/revisions\/36984"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=36983"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=36983"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=36983"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}