I\u2019m 39 weeks pregnant, and last week I found myself sitting at my husband\u2019s birthday dinner, trying to smile through exhaustion and pain. Then he said something so selfish, so breathtakingly inconsiderate, that I grabbed my daughter\u2019s hand and walked out.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m sure nobody at that table will ever forget what happened.<\/p>\n
My name is Marissa. I\u2019m 38 years old, and we\u2019re expecting our second child any day now. My belly feels stretched to its absolute limit\u2014like a balloon about to burst. Every step sends lightning bolts of pain shooting down my legs. My nights are restless, my hips ache, and I\u2019ve completely forgotten what it feels like to wake up without feeling sore.<\/p>\n
We already have our daughter, Lily. She\u2019s four years old\u2014pigtails, giggles, and an endless list of questions that start the moment she opens her eyes. I adore her, but keeping up with her during this pregnancy has been harder than I expected. My doctor warned me that being over 35 puts me in the \u201chigh-risk\u201d category, which means extra monitoring and more need for rest.<\/p>\n
\u201cMarissa, you need to slow down,\u201d Dr. Patel told me at my last appointment. \u201cYou\u2019re doing too much. The baby\u2019s almost here\u2014you have to take care of yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n
I nodded at her, but in my head I thought, Tell that to Daniel.<\/p>\n
My husband has made it to exactly one ultrasound this entire pregnancy. One. I\u2019ve gone to every other appointment alone\u2014sat there by myself listening to heartbeats, reading the results of tests, and worrying about every little thing.<\/p>\n
Whenever I brought it up, Daniel would say, \u201cI have to work, Mar. Someone\u2019s got to keep the lights on.\u201d<\/p>\n
And that would be the end of it.<\/p>\n
But it wasn\u2019t just weekdays\u2014he\u2019s been working weekends too. I\u2019ve been the one chasing after Lily while my ankles swell like balloons and my back feels like it\u2019s on fire.<\/p>\n
For months, I\u2019ve been asking him to help me finish the nursery. We\u2019re not talking about building an extension on the house\u2014just moving some boxes, hanging curtains, assembling the crib.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll get to it,\u201d he\u2019d say every single time.<\/p>\n
The boxes are still there. The curtains are still in their package. The crib is leaning against the wall, unassembled, like a forgotten idea.<\/p>\n
A couple of weeks ago, I rubbed my aching lower back and asked, \u201cDaniel, when are you going to finish the nursery?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSoon, Marissa. God, you\u2019re always on me about something.\u201d<\/p>\n
Always on him. Nagging. That\u2019s what it was to him.<\/p>\n
Then came last Tuesday\u2014Daniel\u2019s 39th birthday. His sister, Tessa, called me that morning.<\/p>\n
\u201cI want to throw him a little party here,\u201d she said. \u201cJust family. You, Daniel, Lily, Mom, Dad, and my boyfriend, Chris. Nothing fancy.\u201d<\/p>\n
It actually sounded nice. I thought maybe we could have one calm evening together.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat sounds wonderful, Tessa. Thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n
I spent the afternoon getting ready\u2014not that I had much energy for it. I slipped into my best maternity dress, the one that used to make Daniel smile when I was pregnant with Lily. This time, he didn\u2019t even seem to notice.<\/p>\n
We got to Tessa\u2019s apartment around six. The smell of roast chicken filled the air. Soft music played in the background, candles glowed on the dining table\u2014it felt warm and welcoming.<\/p>\n
\u201cHappy birthday, son!\u201d Daniel\u2019s mom, Linda, greeted him with a hug. She\u2019s always been more of a mother to me than my own.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks, Mom. Looks great, Tess.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dinner started out fine. Tessa had made all of Daniel\u2019s favorites\u2014roast chicken with herbs, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole. The chocolate cake sat on the counter, waiting.<\/p>\n
Lily was happily telling her grandmother about preschool. Linda asked me about the pregnancy. Chris told funny firehouse stories. I did my best to ignore the constant pressure in my pelvis and the sharp ache in my back. This was Daniel\u2019s night, after all.<\/p>\n
Then, halfway through the main course, Daniel turned to me with this big, excited grin.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know what, Mar? After dinner, why don\u2019t you take Lily home and get her to bed? I\u2019ll stay here with everyone and keep the party going.\u201d<\/p>\n
I froze. \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
He leaned in like he was letting me in on a great plan. \u201cCome on, babe. This is my last chance to celebrate before the baby comes. I want to have a few beers with Chris, maybe smoke a cigar on the balcony. Stay up late like the old days.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stared at him. \u201cYou want me to leave? And take Lily home by myself?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, yeah.\u201d He said it like it was the most reasonable thing in the world. \u201cYou\u2019re always saying how tired you are. And someone\u2019s got to put Lily to bed.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDaniel,\u201d I said slowly, \u201cI\u2019m 39 weeks pregnant. The baby could come tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, come on, Mar. Don\u2019t be so dramatic.\u201d<\/p>\n
That\u2019s when Linda set down her fork. She didn\u2019t raise her voice\u2014she didn\u2019t have to.<\/p>\n
\u201cDaniel,\u201d she said in a tone I\u2019ve only heard her use a handful of times, \u201cwould you mind repeating what you just said to your wife?\u201d<\/p>\n
He shifted uncomfortably. \u201cI just said\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d She held up one finger. \u201cWord for word.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI told her to take Lily home so I could stay here and celebrate my birthday.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYour 39-weeks-pregnant wife. Who could go into labor any moment. You want her to drive home alone with your four-year-old daughter so you can drink beer and smoke cigars?\u201d<\/p>\n
Hearing it out loud made it sound even more absurd.<\/p>\n
\u201cMom, it\u2019s not\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSit down, Daniel.\u201d<\/p>\n
He sat.<\/p>\n
Linda walked around the table and stood behind me, resting her hands gently on my shoulders.<\/p>\n
\u201cMarissa is carrying your child,\u201d she said evenly. \u201cShe\u2019s exhausted and in pain. And instead of making sure she\u2019s cared for, you\u2019re trying to send her away so you can party?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s just one night,\u201d he mumbled.<\/p>\n
\u201cOne night? And what if she goes into labor while you\u2019re here getting drunk? What then? She calls an Uber to the hospital while you\u2019re too wasted to drive?\u201d<\/p>\n
The room went dead silent.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s gone to every appointment alone. She\u2019s been asking you for months to help prepare for this baby. The nursery\u2019s still a mess. You haven\u2019t lifted a finger to make things easier for her.\u201d<\/p>\n
My eyes stung. Someone finally said it. Someone finally saw what I\u2019d been feeling for months.<\/p>\n
Linda\u2019s voice softened, but her disappointment was sharp. \u201cYou\u2019re treating this like it\u2019s something happening to you, instead of something you\u2019re supposed to be doing together.\u201d<\/p>\n
Tessa stared down at her plate. Chris cleared his throat. Lily\u2019s little brow furrowed, picking up on the tension.<\/p>\n
I pushed my chair back. \u201cI\u2019m going home.\u201d<\/p>\n
Linda\u2019s hands squeezed my shoulders. \u201cI\u2019ll come with you. You shouldn\u2019t be alone tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n
I turned to Lily. \u201cCome on, sweetheart.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs Daddy coming?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n
I looked at Daniel, still sitting there, staring at his plate. \u201cNo, honey. Daddy wants to stay here.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her face fell, but she took my hand.<\/p>\n
We left without another word.<\/p>\n
The drive home was quiet except for Lily\u2019s small voice. \u201cWhy is everyone mad?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSometimes grown-ups have disagreements,\u201d I told her.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you and Daddy okay?\u201d<\/p>\n
I caught Linda\u2019s eyes in the rearview mirror. She gave me a sad smile. \u201cI don\u2019t know, Lily. I really don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n
Back at our house, Linda helped me get Lily ready for bed while I sank into the couch. My body felt heavy and sore.<\/p>\n
\u201cGrandma, will you read to me?\u201d Lily asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course.\u201d<\/p>\n
While they read upstairs, I sat there, thinking about my marriage\u2014and how the man I\u2019d built a life with could so easily put his own fun above his family.<\/p>\n
Linda returned a little later with two cups of tea. \u201cHow long has he been like this?\u201d<\/p>\n
I hesitated. \u201cSince I got pregnant. Maybe even before.\u201d<\/p>\n
The baby kicked hard against my ribs, making me gasp.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey\u2019re getting strong,\u201d she said quietly.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe doctor says it could be any day now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you scared?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n
I thought about it. \u201cNot about the baby. I\u2019m scared about everything else. About whether I can do this alone if I have to.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou won\u2019t be alone,\u201d she said firmly. \u201cNo matter what my son decides, you and those kids have me.\u201d<\/p>\n
The baby kicked again, and I placed my hands over my belly. \u201cI keep wondering what I\u2019ll tell this child one day\u2014about their father choosing a party over being there for us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ll tell them they were wanted,\u201d Linda said. \u201cWanted by you and loved beyond measure. That\u2019s the truth.\u201d<\/p>\n
The house felt different now\u2014quieter, heavier. Daniel still hadn\u2019t come home. I imagined him laughing with a beer in his hand, completely unaware of how much damage had been done.<\/p>\n
The baby kicked again, harder this time. Almost like they\u2019re ready to face this complicated world.<\/p>\n
I whispered to my belly, \u201cNo matter what your daddy does, you\u2019ll never doubt that you\u2019re loved.\u201d<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t know exactly what\u2019s going to happen after the baby comes. But I do know one thing\u2014some choices reveal more about a person than years of marriage ever could.<\/p>\n
And last Tuesday night, my husband showed me exactly who he is.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I\u2019m 39 weeks pregnant, and last week I found myself sitting at my husband\u2019s birthday dinner, trying to smile through exhaustion and pain. Then he said something so selfish, so breathtakingly inconsiderate, that I grabbed my daughter\u2019s hand and walked out. I\u2019m sure nobody at that table will ever forget what happened. My name is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36957","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36957","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=36957"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36957\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":36958,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36957\/revisions\/36958"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=36957"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=36957"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=36957"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}