\u201cGimme a double of the strongest whiskey you got. I\u2019m so mad, I can\u2019t even see straight.\u201d<\/p>\n
The bartender, noticing that the little man is a bit worse for the wear, pours him a double of Southern Comfort. The man swills down the drink and says, \u201cGimme another one.\u201d<\/p>\n
The bartender pours the drink but says, \u201cNow, before I give you this, why don\u2019t you let off a little steam and tell me why you\u2019re so upset?\u201d
\nThe man begins his tale. \u201cWell, I was sitting in the bar next-door, when this gorgeous blonde slinks in and actually sits beside me. I thought, \u2018Wow, this has never happened before.\u2019 You know, it was kind of a fantasy come true. Well, a couple of minutes later, I feel this hand moving around in my lap and the blonde leans over, licks my ear, and asks if I\u2019m interested. I couldn\u2019t believe this was happening. I managed to nod my head yes, so she grabs my hand and starts walking out of the bar. So, of course, I went with her. This was just too good to be true.\u201d<\/p>\n
He continues, \u201cShe took me down the street to a nice hotel and up to her room. As soon as she shut the door, she slipped out of her dress. That was all she was wearing! I tell you, it didn\u2019t take me much longer to get out of my clothes. But as soon as I jumped into the bed, I heard some keys jingling and someone starts fumbling with the door.\u201d<\/p>\n
The blonde says, \u2018Oh, my god, it\u2019s my boyfriend. He must have lost his wrestling match tonight. He\u2019s gonna be real mad. Quick, hide!\u2019
\nI opened the closet, but I figured that was probably the first place he would look, so I didn\u2019t hide there. Then I looked under the bed, but I figured that he\u2019s bound to look there, too. By now, I could hear the key in the lock. I noticed the window was open, so I climbed out and was hanging there by my fingers, praying that the guy wouldn\u2019t see me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
The bartender says, \u201cWell, I can see how you might be a bit frustrated at this point.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, yeah, but I hear the guy finally get the door open, and he yells, \u2018Who you been sleeping with now, witch?\u2019<\/p>\n
The girl says, \u2018Nobody, honey, now come to bed and calm down.\u2019<\/p>\n
Well, the guy starts tearing up the room. I hear him tear the door off the closet and throw it across the room. I\u2019m thinking, \u2018Boy, I\u2019m glad I didn\u2019t hide in there.\u2019 Then I hear him lift up the bed and throw it across the room. Good thing I didn\u2019t hide under there either. Then I heard him say, \u2018What\u2019s that over there by the window?\u2019<\/p>\n
I think, \u2018Oh God, I\u2019m dead meat now.\u2019
\nBut by now the blonde is trying real hard to distract him and convince him to stop looking. Well, I hear the guy go into the bathroom, and I hear water running for a long time. I figure maybe he\u2019s gonna take a bath or something, when all of a sudden, the jerk pours a pitcher of scalding hot water out of the window right on top of my head. I mean, look at this, I got second degree burns all over my scalp and shoulders!\u201d<\/p>\n
The bartender says, \u201cOh man, that would have pissed me off for sure.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, that didn\u2019t really bother me. Next, the guy starts slamming the window shut over and over on my hands. I mean, look at my fingers. They\u2019re a bloody mess. I can hardly hold this glass.\u201d<\/p>\n
The bartender looks at the guy\u2019s hands and says, \u201cYeah, buddy, I can understand why you are so upset.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, that wasn\u2019t what really pissed me off.\u201d<\/p>\n
The bartender then asks in exasperation, \u201cWell, then, what did finally piss you off?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, I was hanging there and I turned around and looked down, and I was only about 6 inches off the ground!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cGimme a double of the strongest whiskey you got. I\u2019m so mad, I can\u2019t even see straight.\u201d The bartender, noticing that the little man is a bit worse for the wear, pours him a double of Southern Comfort. The man swills down the drink and says, \u201cGimme another one.\u201d The bartender pours the drink but […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36506","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36506","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=36506"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36506\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":36507,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36506\/revisions\/36507"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=36506"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=36506"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=36506"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}