Aboard a flight from L.A. to New York, Grandma Esther was taking her very first flight.
\nThey had only been aloft a few minutes when the elderly lady complained to the stewardess that her ears were popping.<\/p>\n
The girl smiled and gave the older woman some chewing gum, assuring her that many people experienced the same discomfort.<\/p>\n
When they landed in New York, Grandma thanked the stewardess.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe chewing gum worked fine,\u201d she said, \u201cbut tell me, how do I get it out of my ears?\u201d<\/p>\n
Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews.
\nHowever, she had relatives all over the country.<\/p>\n
The problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed seeing them, she hated flying. No matter how safe people told her it was, she was always worried that someone would have a b*mb on the plane.<\/p>\n
She read books about how safe it was and listened to the stewardess demonstrate all the safety features. But she still worried herself silly every time a visit was coming up.<\/p>\n
Finally, the family decided that maybe if she saw the statistics she\u2019d be convinced. So they sent her to a friend of the family who was an actuary.<\/p>\n
\u201cTell me,\u201d she said suspiciously, \u201cwhat are the chances that someone will have a b*mb on a plane?\u201d<\/p>\n
The actuary looked through his tables and said, \u201cA very small chance. Maybe one in five hundred thousand.\u201d<\/p>\n
She nodded, then thought for a moment. \u201cSo what are the odds of two people having a b*mb on the same plane?\u201d<\/p>\n
Again he went through his tables.<\/p>\n
\u201cExtremely remote,\u201d he said. \u201cAbout one in a billion.\u201d<\/p>\n
Aunt Bessie nodded and left his office.<\/p>\n
And from that day on, every time she flew, she took a b*mb with her.<\/p>\n
A man visits his aunt in the nursing home.
\nIt turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table.<\/p>\n
Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes he\u2019s absentmindedly finished the entire bowl of peanuts.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m so sorry, auntie, I\u2019ve eaten all of your peanuts!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s okay, dearie,\u201d the aunt replied. \u201cAfter I\u2019ve sucked the chocolate off, I don\u2019t care for them anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Aboard a flight from L.A. to New York, Grandma Esther was taking her very first flight. They had only been aloft a few minutes when the elderly lady complained to the stewardess that her ears were popping. The girl smiled and gave the older woman some chewing gum, assuring her that many people experienced the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36461","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36461","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=36461"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36461\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":36462,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36461\/revisions\/36462"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=36461"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=36461"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=36461"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}