When the family of my daughter\u2019s fianc\u00e9 learned about her college fund, they did not only request it; rather, they demanded it, as if we owed them anything. After that, even my daughter was taken aback by what transpired.<\/p>\n
My children are the most important thing in my life, and I would not alter that. I\u2019ve always had the desire to have a large family, and now that I\u2019ve found the proper partner, I\u2019m glad to have one.<\/p>\n
Both as a spouse and a father, Dren is fantastic. In addition to his hard work for us, he loves our children just as much as I do.<\/p>\n
It has been a difficult period for us, with issues with finances, health, and family conflicts.<\/p>\n
However, Dren is always the one to stand up and mend problems, regardless of how difficult they seem to be.<\/p>\n
Early on in our marriage, he expressed one of his most brilliant ideas. We had just been married and were barely making ends meet, but he wanted to establish a college fund for our children in the future. \u201cEducation is something that cannot be taken away from anyone,\u201d he said. While we may not be able to provide them with money or housing, we can at least offer them an opportunity.<\/p>\n
Therefore, we put aside some money each month. I became pregnant with our first child, and we decided to establish a bank account. Similarly, our second, third, and fourth children, and now I am expecting our fifth child, for which a fund has already been established.<\/p>\n
Niva, our eldest daughter, was the recipient of the first college fund. When she was born, we were young, perhaps even too young, but we put forth a lot of effort to provide her with opportunities that we had never had.<\/p>\n
However, a significant event occurred when Niva was 16 years old. It became out that she was pregnant.<\/p>\n
It is a visit to the doctor that I will never forget. The world seemed to be spinning as Dren and I sat there. Not at all what was intended. In the future, Niva was meant to graduate from high school, enroll in college, and begin a profession. Rather than that, she would become a teenage mother.<\/p>\n
It was a challenging task. After Niva struggled with morning sickness and the attention of her peers, she decided to drop out of her junior year. We provided her with assistance, including trips to the doctor, baby clothing, and a nursery at home. When she was coping with so much, we didn\u2019t put any pressure on her to complete school, but we did hope that she would do so later.<\/p>\n
Indeed, it is not what took place. The alternative was for Niva to make peace with her lover, Kael. It appeared as if he was concerned about Niva and their child, and he was doing well. He worked construction whenever he could. After their son was born, they moved in together, and then two years later, they had another child. They then got engaged, and they planned to be married \u201csomeday\u201d when they were able to afford getting married. When we had two children and Kael\u2019s employment were unstable, we were in a financial bind, so Dren and I pitched in to assist with the groceries and diapers.<\/p>\n
Also, our other children have grown up. An animal shelter is where Sela, who is 17 years old and wants to become a veterinarian, is giving her time and putting in a lot of effort to get into the college of her dreams. Rion, who is 15 years old, discusses engineering. Vyna, who is five years old, is a bright child who enjoys reading. I am pleased with each and every one of them.<\/p>\n
However, I never imagined that those college monies that Dren desired would create such a great deal of grief.<\/p>\n
At Niva\u2019s house the previous week, Sela was giddy with excitement about college, her dorm, and her courses. During the time when the children were playing, I was folding clothes in Niva\u2019s kitchen. There was a shrug on Sela\u2019s face when Niva inquired about how she would pay for school. She spoke the words \u201cmy college fund\u201d as if it were no problem at all.<\/p>\n
My heart came to a standstill. The expression on Niva\u2019s face was one of triumph, as if she had just been awarded something.<\/p>\n
Wait, what is it? \u201cI am sitting up,\u201d Niva remarked. \u201cDo any of us have money set aside for college?\u201d<\/p>\n
There was no way I could lie. It was not something that we had concealed, but we had also not made it public, particularly when Niva became pregnant. I responded with a gentle \u201cYes.\u201d All of you do it.<\/p>\n
Niva reached for her phone and dialed Kael\u2019s number. Her joy was audible to me. \u201cBabe! \u201d Exciting news! Yes, I do have a college money! All this time, my parents have been putting money aside for me!<\/p>\n
My gut was in a knot. I had a feeling that things were going to go wrong. \u201cNiva, honey,\u201d I stated with great caution, \u201cthe fund is for college.\u201d For the purpose of school.\u201d<\/p>\n
She stared at me as if I were completely insane. \u201cAll well, but we could use it toward a down payment on the home that we have our sights set on. Perhaps some for the wedding ceremony. Are you sure that\u2019s fair? Yes, that is my money.<\/p>\n
As I did so, I inhaled deeply. I started by saying, \u201cNo, sweetheart.\u201d Even if you want to utilize it, you should first use it for school. You have the option of obtaining your General Equivalency Diploma (GED), attending a community college, or attending a vocational school. Then whatever is left is yours to keep.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her visage shifted, and rage began to surface. \u201cDo you have any sense? You are forcing me to jump through hoops for the money that I have earned?<\/p>\n
\u201cNiva, this is not about basketball. What the money is for is to do this.\u201d<\/p>\n
She yelled out in a huff, \u201cThis is unbelievable!\u201d \u201cSela is free to use hers in any way she sees fit, but I have to demonstrate that I am worthy of it?\u201d<\/p>\n
In response, I said, \u201cSela is using hers for college.\u201d \u201cWhat it\u2019s for is exactly that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Niva stormed out, and we made our exit not long after that.<\/p>\n
She contacted me the next day, weeping and pleading with me to alter my decision. She said that they needed the money in order to make change in their life. The phrase \u201cschool first, then the rest was hers\u201d was repeated by me. She yelled that it was \u201cher money,\u201d that I preferred Sela, and even accused me of punishing her for becoming pregnant. She lost it, and she started screaming.<\/p>\n
The news was painful to hear. On the other hand, I did not waver.<\/p>\n
Then, Kael\u2019s family became involved, and the situation became much more dire. The following morning, his mother, Leryn, phoned, and she did not even make an effort to be kind. \u201cThis isn\u2019t fair!\u201d she yelled out in fury. \u201cThat is money that you owe to them! It\u2019s your daughter, Niva here!<\/p>\n
As soon as I was about to respond, Kael picked up the phone, his tone icy and unlike the nice young man I had known. \u201cThis money belongs to us,\u201d he said. You are sitting on thousands of dollars that belong to Niva, while we are fighting to make ends meet.<\/p>\n
I attempted to explain the school regulation to him, but he interrupted me instead. What a load of rubbish. There will be no return to school for her. Her children are her responsibility to raise. Possessing genuine obligations.\u201d<\/p>\n
In the background, his sister Taryn\u2019s voice could be heard yelling, \u201cThat money ought to remain within the family!\u201d Our own family! What you are doing is very unacceptable!<\/p>\n
But Kael did not stop. \u201cYou did not have any fantasy of going to college; you reserved it for Niva. She is 22 years old and has two children. \u201cGet down to earth.\u201d<\/p>\n
His sense of entitlement got to me. Not only was he greedy, but he also behaved as if we owed them because we had prepared ahead, as if Niva\u2019s cash was their passport to a life of ease. As Kael put it, \u201cWe are not requesting any kind of charity.\u201d This is the property that is properly ours.<\/p>\n
I hung up the phone.<\/p>\n
Leryn, Taryn, and even Kael\u2019s father were among the people who called us, and they all said that we were unjust and that we owed them money.<\/p>\n
Observing what it did to Niva was the most upsetting part. She came over that evening, trembling and holding her phone tightly in her hand. Her voice was soft and she muttered, \u201cMom, I didn\u2019t know they\u2019d say that stuff.\u201d \u201cI did not suggest that they give you a call.\u201d<\/p>\n
My embrace was really tight. The clarity came all of a sudden. The members of Kael\u2019s family failed to see Niva\u2019s potential. Neither did they encourage her to aspire greater or to feel that she was capable of more. To them, she was nothing more than a means of acquiring financial gain.<\/p>\n
As far as they were concerned, that money was not about education; rather, it was about power and what they believed they earned.<\/p>\n
The call came from Niva three days later. She had permanently parted ways with Kael. The statement that she made was, \u201cI heard what he said to you.\u201d \u201cThe way in which his family spoke about me and about us. As if I were nothing more than a revenue stream, Mom. There is nothing else.\u201d<\/p>\n
A month later, she began taking courses to get her GED. They are being covered by her college fund, and we are also assisting her in finding a beauty school to attend. She can\u2019t wait to go back into the classroom and start constructing a bright future for herself and her children.<\/p>\n
I am relieved that Niva is figuring out what she wants to do. It was difficult for her to leave Kael, but she made the decision to choose her own value above their relationship. Both Dren and I are proud of her for standing up for herself, and we will continue to support her aspirations throughout the whole process.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
When the family of my daughter\u2019s fianc\u00e9 learned about her college fund, they did not only request it; rather, they demanded it, as if we owed them anything. After that, even my daughter was taken aback by what transpired. My children are the most important thing in my life, and I would not alter that. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-31536","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31536","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=31536"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31536\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":31537,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31536\/revisions\/31537"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=31536"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=31536"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=31536"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}