A \u201cshort\u201d but important work trip took my husband away just two days before Christmas. I drove to the nearby hotel when I found out he had lied and was there. But I was sobbing when I walked into that hotel room. The face that looked back at me broke my heart and shook my whole world.
\nI thought my husband and I shared everything. Every joke, worry, and dream that isn\u2019t important. We knew each other\u2019s flaws and quirks, shared our joy when we won, and helped each other through hard times. Or at least that\u2019s what I thought until Christmas Day, when everything I thought I knew fell apart.<\/p>\n
Shawn tapped uncomfortably on our kitchen counter and said, \u201cAndrea, I need to tell you something.\u201d \u201cMy boss called.\u201d He needs me to take care of an urgent client matter in Boston.<\/p>\n
I put down my coffee and looked at his face. His face showed that something was different. A hint of\u2026 guilt? Stress?<\/p>\n
\u201cDuring the holidays?\u201d My eyes got bigger.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, I know.\u201d I tried to leave, but\u2026 I had grown to love the way he ran his hand through his dark hair after three years of marriage. \u201cThe customer is threatening to close their whole account.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cChristmas has never been a time for travel for you.\u201d I put my hands around my coffee mug to stay warm. \u201cWhy doesn\u2019t someone else do it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBelieve me, I wish there was.\u201d When his eyes met mine, they quickly moved away. \u201cI promise I\u2019ll make it up to you. When I get back, we\u2019ll have our own Christmas.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, I guess I have to do something.\u201d Even though I tried to smile, sadness filled my chest. \u201cWhen are you going to leave?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTonight.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m really sorry, honey.\u201d<\/p>\n
I nodded while trying not to cry. We hadn\u2019t spent Christmas together since we met.<\/p>\n
As I helped Shawn pack that night, I thought about all the good times we had together.<\/p>\n
I thought back to our wedding day and how his eyes lit up when I walked down the aisle. I also remembered how he surprised me with weekend trips. He put in extra hours at the consulting company to save money for our dream house, a Victorian with a porch that went all the way around.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you remember our first Christmas?\u201d Putting his sweater away, I asked. \u201cWhen you almost burned down our apartment while making a turkey roast?\u201d<\/p>\n
He laughed. \u201cHow did I forget?\u201d That 3 a.m. call didn\u2019t make the fire service very happy.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd that ugly sweater set you got us for Christmas last year?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou wore yours to work anyway!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause you told me to!\u201d He smiled as he caught the sock I threw at him. \u201cThey still won\u2019t let me live it down at work.\u201d<\/p>\n
His smile got a little softer. \u201cI\u2019m really sorry about this trip, sweetheart.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI understand!\u201d I sat on the bed\u2019s edge. \u201cJust\u2026\u201d \u201cChristmas won\u2019t be the same without you.\u201d<\/p>\n
He sat down next to me and took my hand. \u201cAre you sure you won\u2019t open your gifts until I get back?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cStretch my heart.\u201d I put my shoulder on his. \u201cAre you sure you\u2019ll call?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEvery chance I get.\u201d \u201cI love you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI love you too.\u201d<\/p>\n
Something kept going through my mind as I watched him drive off. I pushed the thought away, though. It was Shawn after all. Shawn, mine. The guy who danced with me in the rain and brought me soup when I was sick. And the person I believed in the most.<\/p>\n
It was snowing on Christmas Eve, and I felt like I couldn\u2019t shake the feeling of being empty. It was too quiet and still in the house. I did things by myself all day, like bake cookies, watch Christmas movies, and wrap last-minute gifts.<\/p>\n
Around 9 p.m., Shawn called me on the phone. My heart jumped.<\/p>\n
A strange strain could be heard in his voice as he said, \u201cMerry Christmas, beautiful.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHappy Christmas!\u201d Where is Boston? Did you figure out what to do with the client?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUh, it\u2019s good.\u201d Please wait, I\u2019m not ready to talk. I need to leave\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
I could hear voices, laughing, and what sounded like dishes clinking in the background.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you having dinner?\u201d This late? Why did I think you had meetings?\u201d<\/p>\n
He almost screamed, \u201cI have to go!\u201d \u201cMeeting right away!\u201d<\/p>\n
The line stopped working.<\/p>\n
My hands were shaking as I looked at my phone. Meeting for emergencies? At 9 p.m. on Christmas Eve? With the sounds of a restaurant in the background? It didn\u2019t make any sense.<\/p>\n
Then I thought of my fitness tracker! I left it in his car after we went food shopping last weekend. I opened the app on my phone with shaking hands.<\/p>\n
The location pointer smiled back at me, making fun of my trust. Shawn didn\u2019t have a car in Boston. The car was parked at a hotel in our city, not far from our home.<\/p>\n
For a moment, my world stopped moving. That\u2019s when all of my thoughts came back at once.<\/p>\n
A hotel? In our town? On the night before Christmas?<\/p>\n
Each idea that ran through my mind was worse than the last. Was he going to see someone? Had we lied to each other our whole marriage? There were signs\u2026 acting tense, leaving quickly, and getting a strange phone call.<\/p>\n
I told myself in a whisper, \u201cNo.\u201d \u201cNo, no, no.\u201d<\/p>\n
I rushed to my car and drove straight to the hotel without stopping to think.<\/p>\n
The drive was filled with tears and bad things that could happen. It was awful to go through every red light. Every second that went by was another time when my mind was full of ideas I couldn\u2019t stand to think about.<\/p>\n
When I got there, sure enough, Shawn\u2019s silver car was already parked.<\/p>\n
It was the car I helped him choose, and we\u2019d been on many road trips together. Just seeing it made my stomach hurt.<\/p>\n
My heart was beating so fast I thought it might burst as I walked into the hallway. My hands were shaking. In the background, soft Christmas music played like an insult.<\/p>\n
The front desk worker smiled and looked up. \u201cMay I assist you?\u201d<\/p>\n
I took out my phone and showed Shawn and I a picture from our beach trip last summer. I ran my thumb across his happy face.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis man is my husband.\u201d \u201cWhat room is he in?\u201d<\/p>\n
She wasn\u2019t sure. \u201cSorry, Ma\u2019am, I shouldn\u2019t\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTell me, please.\u201d He said he was in Boston, but his car is right outside. Please\u2026 \u201cI need to know what\u2019s going on.\u201d<\/p>\n
She must have been moved by something in the way I looked. Maybe I couldn\u2019t hold back the tears, or she had seen this scene happen before. She looked at my phone again and typed something into her computer.<\/p>\n
She put the key card across the counter and said, \u201cRoom 412.\u201d \u201cBut miss?\u201d Things aren\u2019t always what they seem to be.<\/p>\n
I was in such a hurry to get to the lift that I barely heard her last words.<\/p>\n
The elevator ride seemed to last forever. After each step, it sounded like a bomb was going off. When I got to the fourth floor, I ran down the hallway, where the carpet made it hard to hear my steps.<\/p>\n
412 Room. I didn\u2019t knock\u2026 I just swiped the card and walked right in.<\/p>\n
\u201cShawn, how could you\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
The words wouldn\u2019t come out of my mouth.<\/p>\n
Shawn was standing next to a wheel chair.<\/p>\n
A man with silvery hair and eyes I hadn\u2019t seen since I was five years old was sitting in that wheelchair. He watched me take my first steps and his eyes got wrinkled when he laughed at my jokes. The day he left, they filled with tears.<\/p>\n
\u201cDADDY?\u201d With a whisper, the word came out. It was a prayer and a question I\u2019d had for 26 years.<\/p>\n
Hey, Andrea! My dad\u2019s voice was shaking. \u201cMy little girl.\u201d<\/p>\n
While memories came flooding back, time seemed to stop. My mom burned all of his letters after the divorce, and she moved us across the country. and me crying myself to sleep while holding the last birthday card he sent, the one with the puppy and the words \u201cI\u2019ll love you forever.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow?\u201d I looked at Shawn with tears running down my face. \u201cHow did you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Shawn said in a soft voice, \u201cI\u2019ve been looking for him for a year.\u201d \u201cYour mother told me a few things about him a few months before she died.\u201d Through social media, I found him in Arizona last week. A few years ago, he had a stroke and could no longer walk. Yesterday, I drove down to get him\u2026 I had a Christmas treat for you.<\/p>\n
My dad reached out and grabbed my hand. His fingers were not as thick as I remembered them being, but they still had the same soft strength to them.<\/p>\n
\u201cI looked for you all the time, Andrea.\u201d Your mom stopped it from happening. So many times you\u2019ve moved and changed your address. I loved you always, though. Done everything they could to find my little girl.<\/p>\n
I broke down in tears next to his wheelchair and cried as he picked me up. He wrapped his cologne around me like a warm blanket. It smelled like sandalwood, which is a scent I remember from my childhood.<\/p>\n
Every wish I\u2019d ever made at Christmas, on my birthday, or at 11:11 had been for this moment.<\/p>\n
\u201cI believed\u2026\u201d I choked out between tears. \u201cI thought when I saw the hotel\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Shawn got down on his knees next to us and said, \u201cOh, sweetheart.\u201d \u201cI really needed to tell you.\u201d But first I had to make sure I could find him. I couldn\u2019t stand the thought of letting you down if it didn\u2019t work out.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m so sorry,\u201d I told Shawn in a whisper later, after things had calmed down a bit and we had ordered room service.<\/p>\n
He sat me down on the small couch and pulled me close. \u201cI wanted it to be great.\u201d Tomorrow morning at Christmas breakfast, your dad will walk in\u2026 well, roll in. I can see it on your face.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s wonderful!\u201d I looked at the two men I loved most in the world. \u201cEven if I hurt the surprise.\u201d I think I might have had a heart attack on the way here.<\/p>\n
From his wheelchair, my dad laughed. \u201eYou were always an antsy one. Do you remember how you used to shake all your Christmas gifts?\u201d<\/p>\n
Shawn squeezed my hand and said, \u201cSome things never change.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you remember when I told you there was a fairy living in the garden?\u201d Dad\u2019s eyes sparkled. \u201cFor a week, you forgot to put out little sandwiches.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI forgot about that!\u201d I laughed even though I was crying again.<\/p>\n
Dad said in a soft voice, \u201cI\u2019ve saved up stories for 26 years.\u201d \u201cIf you\u2019d like to hear them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTell me everything.\u201d I reached out to grab his hand. \u201cEvery single story.\u201d<\/p>\n
As I put my head on Shawn\u2019s shoulder, I listened to my dad tell stories from my youth that I thought would never be told again. Outside, soft snow fell, and in the distance, Christmas Day church bells began to ring.<\/p>\n
My dad\u2019s eyes sparkled. \u201cAre you ready to hear about the time Andrea, who is five years old, cut our dog\u2019s hair?\u201d<\/p>\n
Shawn smiled and said, \u201cI think what we\u2019re all ready to hear is how Andrea got it wrong and thought her loving husband was up to no good on Christmas Eve!\u201d<\/p>\n
I moaned, but I couldn\u2019t help but laugh. \u201cThis is something I will never get over, am I?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNever,\u201d they both said at the same time. Hearing them laugh was the best Christmas present I could have ever gotten.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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