John hoisted his beer and said:<\/p>\n
\u201cHere\u2019s to spending the rest of my life,
\nbetween the legs of my wife!\u201d<\/p>\n
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife,<\/p>\n
Mary, \u201cI won the prize for the best toast of the night.\u201d<\/p>\n
She said, \u201cWhat was your toast?\u2019<\/p>\n
John said: \u201cHere\u2019s to spending the rest of my life, sitting in church beside my wife.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, that is very nice indeed, John!\u201d Mary said.<\/p>\n
The next day, Mary ran into one of John\u2019s drinking buddies on the street corner.<\/p>\n
The man chuckled leeringly and said, \u201cJohn won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.\u201d<\/p>\n
She said, \u201cHe told me, and I was a bit surprised myself.<\/p>\n
You know, he\u2019s only been there twice in the last four years.<\/p>\n
Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
John hoisted his beer and said: \u201cHere\u2019s to spending the rest of my life, between the legs of my wife!\u201d That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, \u201cI won the prize for the best toast of the night.\u201d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-28105","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28105","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=28105"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28105\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":28106,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28105\/revisions\/28106"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=28105"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=28105"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=28105"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}