Two guys are sitting at a bar.<\/p>\n
After a bunch of drinks over several hours, one guy hiccups, drops his head down to his chest, pushes himself away from the bar, and proceeds to hurl all over himself.<\/p>\n
Wiping his mouth off on his shirtsleeve, he says, \u201cMan, I gotta go home. I\u2019m already two hours late, and now I\u2019ve thrown up all over myself. My wife is gonna kill me.\u201d<\/p>\n
The second guy turns to the first and says, \u201cNaw she won\u2019t. Listen, you got twenty bucks?\u201d<\/p>\n
The first says, \u201cYeah, why?\u201d<\/p>\n
The second drunk says, \u201cTake the twenty and put it in your front pocket. When you get home and your wife asks what happened, you tell her some guy threw up on your shirt and he gave you twenty bucks for the dry cleaning. I do it all the time.\u201d<\/p>\n
The first guy says, \u201cGreat idea! Let\u2019s have another round\u201d, and the two continued to drink for the next couple of hours.<\/p>\n
Eventually they head home. Sure enough, the first guy\u2019s wife is waiting up for him. As he walks through the door, she takes a look at him and says, \u201cLook at you! You\u2019re pathetic!! You\u2019re five hours late, drunk as a skunk, and you\u2019ve got dried puke all over the front of you! What have you got to say for yourself ?!?\u201d<\/p>\n
He says, \u201cWait honey, listen for a second. This drunken guy threw up on me and gave me twenty bucks to get my shirt dry cleaned, I swear. Check my front pocket.\u201d<\/p>\n
She reaches in and pulls out the money. She says, \u201cWait there\u2019s 40 bucks in here!\u201d<\/p>\n
He says, \u201cOh yeah, he crapped in my pants too!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Two guys are sitting at a bar. After a bunch of drinks over several hours, one guy hiccups, drops his head down to his chest, pushes himself away from the bar, and proceeds to hurl all over himself. Wiping his mouth off on his shirtsleeve, he says, \u201cMan, I gotta go home. I\u2019m already two […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27075","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27075","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=27075"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27075\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27076,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27075\/revisions\/27076"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=27075"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=27075"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=27075"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}