Hubby: Yes, I love that trick you do with your mouth.<\/p>\n
Wife: What trick?<\/p>\n
Hubby: The one where you shut the fuck up and go to sleep.<\/p>\n
Wife\u2019s eyes widened, and she leaned in, crossing her arms. \u201cExcuse me, what did you just say?\u201d<\/p>\n
Hubby, grinning like a mischievous schoolboy, looked up from his phone. \u201cOh, you know, the magic trick you do every night.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her eyebrows arched skeptically. \u201cMagic trick? I\u2019m all ears, go on.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah,\u201d he said with an exaggerated motion, as if explaining the secret of the universe. \u201cYou start by talking about everything under the sun\u2014your day, your plans, the laundry, what to have for dinner tomorrow. You build up this grand performance.\u201d<\/p>\n
He paused for dramatic effect. \u201cAnd then, poof, just like that\u2026 you fall asleep mid-sentence!\u201d<\/p>\n
Wife stared, not sure whether to laugh or smother him with the nearest pillow. \u201cSo, you\u2019re telling me my \u2018trick\u2019 is falling asleep?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYep,\u201d Hubby nodded, still grinning. \u201cIt\u2019s amazing. I never know when it\u2019s coming. One minute, you\u2019re asking about my day, the next, it\u2019s silence. Like magic. And I\u2019m like, \u2018Where did she go?\u2019 It\u2019s like I\u2019m in the presence of an elusive sleep wizard.\u201d<\/p>\n
Wife put a hand on her hip, rolling her eyes. \u201cWell, if I\u2019m a wizard, then you\u2019re the one who cast the spell. Every time you snore, I\u2019m instantly transported to dreamland.\u201d<\/p>\n
He snickered. \u201cTouch\u00e9. But, let\u2019s be real, I know who\u2019s got the real magic around here.\u201d<\/p>\n
Wife raised an eyebrow. \u201cOh? And what\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe way you can disappear when I need help with the dishes, laundry, or anything.\u201d<\/p>\n
She smirked. \u201cThat, my dear, is called \u2018selective hearing.\u2019 Now, poof, I\u2019m going to sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hubby laughed and nudged her. \u201cOkay, okay, I\u2019ll give you the title of the sleep sorceress. But only if you promise not to perform your \u2018trick\u2019 when I\u2019m asking you to take out the trash.\u201d<\/p>\n
She pretended to think, then shrugged. \u201cSorry, no promises. It\u2019s part of the spell!\u201d<\/p>\n
He sighed dramatically. \u201cWife, the only thing I can count on more than your trick with your mouth is your ability to dodge chores. Now go on, do your magic. Goodnight, sorceress.\u201d<\/p>\n
Wife turned over with a playful grin. \u201cGoodnight, Magician of the Snore.\u201d<\/p>\n
And just like that, the silence settled in, and Hubby heard the soft sound of her breathing\u2014proof that the trick had worked once again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hubby: Yes, I love that trick you do with your mouth. Wife: What trick? Hubby: The one where you shut the fuck up and go to sleep. Wife\u2019s eyes widened, and she leaned in, crossing her arms. \u201cExcuse me, what did you just say?\u201d Hubby, grinning like a mischievous schoolboy, looked up from his phone. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23878","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23878","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=23878"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23878\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24237,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23878\/revisions\/24237"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=23878"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=23878"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=23878"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}