{"id":14108,"date":"2024-08-08T01:33:06","date_gmt":"2024-08-07T23:33:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/?p=14108"},"modified":"2024-08-08T01:33:06","modified_gmt":"2024-08-07T23:33:06","slug":"a-man-was-so-excited-to-become-a-father-that-he-asked-users-for-their-best-dad-jokes-the-internet-delivered","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/?p=14108","title":{"rendered":"A Man Was So Excited to Become a Father That He Asked Users for Their Best Dad Jokes: The Internet Delivered"},"content":{"rendered":"

One new dad was so excited to become a father that he asked users for their best dad jokes, and the internet delivered!<\/p>\n

\u201cWe recently welcomed our baby girl into the world, and I cannot describe how proud I am of this little bug. We haven\u2019t known each other for very long, but every day I\u2019m working on being the best father I can be for her,\u201d the user shared.<\/p>\n

\"\"
\nA kid\u2019s hand in his father\u2019s | Source: Pexels<\/p>\n

The man said that while his daughter couldn\u2019t talk, he had about 13 years until she would be able to roll eyes at his annoying jokes. So, he needed to come prepared. \u201d I want to be ready to embarrass her in front of any waitress, boyfriend, or teacher.\u201d<\/p>\n

Here are some of the top dad jokes that were shared:<\/p>\n

\"\"
\nFather carrying his son on his shoulders | Source: Pexels<\/p>\n

The Classic Fortune Cookie Conundrum
\nEvery time my dad opens a fortune cookie, he gets a distressed look on his face and says, \u201cIt says \u2018Help! I\u2019m being held captive in a fortune cookie factory!\u2019 We have to help this person!\u201d None of my siblings or I have ever fallen for it, but he\u2019s been doing it for at least 30 years. Now he\u2019s got grandkids to try it on, and I\u2019m sure they won\u2019t fall for it either.<\/p>\n

\"\"
\nOpening a fortune cookie | Source: Pexels<\/p>\n

Egg-cellent Humor
\nDad at breakfast: \u201cI\u2019ll have bacon and eggs, please.\u201d<\/p>\n

Waiter: \u201cHow do you like your eggs?\u201d<\/p>\n

Dad: \u201cI don\u2019t know, I haven\u2019t gotten them yet!\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"
\nEggs and bacon | Source: Pexels<\/p>\n

Sock It to Me
\nDad: \u201cDo your socks have holes in them?\u201d<\/p>\n

Kid: \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dad: \u201cThen how\u2019d you get your feet in them?\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"
\nSocks with flowers | Source: Pexels<\/p>\n

Graveyard Giggles
\n\u201cWhy do graveyards have gates? Because people are dying to get in.\u201d My Dad always told it passing a graveyard.<\/p>\n

\"\"
\nA lone cross | Source: Pexels<\/p>\n

Reverse Flashback
\nDad, putting the car in reverse: \u201cAhh, this takes me back.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bar Bump
\nThree guys walked into a bar. You\u2019d think one of them would have seen it.<\/p>\n

Restaurant Rumble
\nNot a joke in the traditional sense, but when I\u2019m at a restaurant and the waitress says, \u201cDo you wanna box for that?\u201d I always reply with, \u201cNo, but I\u2019ll wrestle you for it.\u201d No one ever gets it, but it makes me laugh. And that\u2019s the point, right?<\/p>\n

Earning Cremation
\n\u201cAnyone can get buried when they die; if you want to be cremated, you have to urn it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Elephant Evasion
\n\u201cYou know why you never see an elephant hiding in a tree? Because they\u2019re very good at it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cemetery Stumper
\nDad: \u201cDid you know that the people living nearby actually can\u2019t be buried in that cemetery?\u201d<\/p>\n

Kid: \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

Dad: \u201cBecause they\u2019re not dead yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

Anti-Depressant Theft
\n\u201cSomeone broke in last night and stole all my anti-depressants. I hope they\u2019re happy.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shady Trees
\nAt the park with my girls: \u201cDad, can we go play?\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cSure, just stay away from those trees over there.\u201d<\/p>\n

Girls: \u201cUmm\u2026 okay, why?\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cI don\u2019t know\u2026 they look a little shady to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gym Jargon
\n\u201cI haven\u2019t been to the gym in so long I\u2019ve gone back to calling it James.\u201d<\/p>\n

Fish Frustration
\n\u201cWhat did the fish say when he swam into a wall? \u2018Dam!’\u201d<\/p>\n

Affair Fiasco
\nMy dad once sat me down and told me that while my mother was on holiday, he\u2019d been having an affair. Deadly serious, he tells me it\u2019s not worth it because when it was happening, one time she told him to come over because nobody was home. And he went, and knocked, but got no answer. Because nobody was home.<\/p>\n

I was worried for their marriage, and the whole thing was the setup for a joke.<\/p>\n

Mime Abduction
\n\u201cI\u2019ve been a dad for 26 years, so this is the real deal: I was abducted by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cheap Chicken
\nDad at lunch:Dad: \u201cDo you have anything cheap? Because I\u2019m not that hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n

Waiter: \u201cWell, maybe the chicken strips for $6.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dad: \u201cWell, maybe it does, but that doesn\u2019t help my hunger.\u201d<\/p>\n

Pregnancy Pun
\nWife to husband: \u201cI\u2019m pregnant.\u201d<\/p>\n

Husband to wife, trying to be funny: \u201cHi pregnant, I\u2019m Dad.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wife: \u201cNo, you\u2019re not.\u201d<\/p>\n

Pride and Joy
\nThis one comes from my dad: My dad was talking to some friends, introducing me.<\/p>\n

My Dad: \u201cThis is my pride and joy, my only son\u2026 I think.\u201d It\u2019s short, but it really made me laugh.<\/p>\n

Dad Joke Criteria
\n\u201cHow do you know when a joke is a Dad joke? When it\u2019s apparent\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Weekend Wishes
\nEvery time someone says, \u201cIf I don\u2019t see you again, have a great weekend,\u201d I respond with, \u201cWell, what kind of weekend should I have if you DO see me again?\u201d It cracks me up every time. Them? Not so much.<\/p>\n

Haircut Hijinks
\nMy students will ask, \u201cDid you get a haircut?\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cNope, I got them all cut, thank you for noticing.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wingless Wonder
\n\u201cWhat do you call a wingless fly? A walk.\u201d<\/p>\n

Norwegian Finish
\nThe waiter, as we\u2019re just done eating: \u201cAre you finished?\u201d<\/p>\n

My dad, at Every. Single. Restaurant. Ever: \u201cNo, Norwegian.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nothing Left
\nDad, reading the paper: \u201cDid you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off?\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dad: \u201cWell, he\u2019s all right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

As this new father embarks on his journey of parenthood, he\u2019s well-equipped with an arsenal of hilarious dad jokes, ready to elicit giggles and eye rolls from his daughter for years to come. With the help of the internet, he\u2019s already off to a great start in becoming the best dad ever. Here\u2019s to many more laughs and cherished moments ahead!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One new dad was so excited to become a father that he asked users for their best dad jokes, and the internet delivered! \u201cWe recently welcomed our baby girl into the world, and I cannot describe how proud I am of this little bug. We haven\u2019t known each other for very long, but every day […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14108","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14108","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=14108"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14108\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14115,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14108\/revisions\/14115"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=14108"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=14108"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newzdiscover.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=14108"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}