A blonde cop pulls over a blonde driver and asks for her driver’s license. The driver searches through her car and asks, “Uhh, what are they again?” The cop responds, “Ugh. It’s the thing in your purse with your picture on it.” The driver says, “Oh yeah,” and hands over a compact mirror from her […]
The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?” No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the […]
I attended a close friend’s wedding. I wore a yellow dress. Think like Belle in Beauty and the Beast yellow. Bumble bee yellow. Towards the end of the reception, a member of the wedding party approached me and stated that I needed to leave. Turns out the blacklights made my dress appear more white than […]
I fully reclined my seat on a 9-hour flight. The very pregnant woman behind me started pushing my seat and nagging that she didn’t have enough legroom. I told her, “If you want luxury, buy business!” She went quiet, and some time later, I realized she wasn’t there anymore. When I asked the stewardess, she […]
My MIL wastes her day on Zumba and friend dates. I asked her to babysit our 2-year-old son while my husband and I work full-time. She declared, “Full-time babysitting is not a grandma’s job!” My husband stayed silent. I banned her from seeing my baby and hired a nanny. Days later, the nanny called me […]
My in-laws invited 12 relatives to a fancy restaurant for my son’s graduation. I asked my parents to come too since we were celebrating their grandson. When the bill came, my father-in-law paid the $1700 and asked me to pay the 18% tip because “I brought guests.” I refused and left. My wife was quiet. […]
My sister recently got married, and I can’t stand her husband. We used to be so close, sharing secrets and spending weekends together. But ever since she got with him, she’s been very distant. Yesterday, I decided to visit her unannounced. When she opened the door, she looked startled and pale. Behind her, I saw […]